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You love your child with all your heart! 

Do you know what mental, emotional, growing state of mind your child is in? 

Do you know the right message you child needs?

Do you know what to say at what age to improve your daughter's self-esteem? 


Of course, you love your children unconditionally. So it's a good thing to know what message you need to send during a particular age group.

According to Jean Illsley Clarke, here are the stages in a child's life (from psychologists who study the development from baby to adulthood: 

Name of Stage:                                     BEING
Timeline:                                        Birth-6months



Parents Job to Think & Say:

I'm glad you are alive!

I love you and care for you willingly.

You belong here.

What you need is important to me.

Grow at your own pace.


Name of Stage:                                     DOING
Timeline:                                        6 months-18 months


Parents Job to Think & Say:

I will support and protect you.

You can explore and experiment.

You can be interested in everything.

I love you active and when you are quiet.

You can do things as many times as you need.

I like to watch you initiate, grow and learn.


Name of Stage:                                     THINKING
Timeline:                                         18 months-3 years


Parents Job to Think & Say:

You can ask for help.

You can know what you want.

I'm glad you are starting to think for yourself.

You can become separate from me.

I will continue to love you.

It's OK for you to be angry and say, No!.

I won't let you hurt yourself or others.

You can test your limits as much as you need.


Name of Stage:                                IDENTITY & POWER
Timeline:                                              3 years-6 years


Parents Job to Think & Say:

You can try out different roles. 

All of your feelings are OK with me.

You can explore who you are. 

You can find out who other people are. 

You are powerful and you 

ask for help at the same time. 

You can discover the results of your behavior. 

You can learn what's pretend and what's real.


Name of Stage:                                   STRUCTURE
Timeline:                                          6 years-12years


Parents Job to Think & Say:

You can think for yourself.

You can learn from your mistakes. 

You can think before you say yes or no.

You can learn what rules help you live with others and what happens when you break 'em.

You can ask for my help if you're distressed. 

I love you even when we differ.


Name of Stage:                      Identity, Sexuality, & Separation 
Timeline:                                           12 years-18 years

                                                             (Adolescence)


Parents Job to Think & Say:

You can learn to use old skills in new ways.

You can develop your own interests, relationships, and causes.

You can grow in your maleness or femaleness.

You can still be dependent at times and ask me for help. Ask for my support.

You can learn the difference between sex, caring, and nurturing. Be responsible for your own needs and behaviors.

I look forward to knowing you as an adult.

My love is always with you.


Name of Stage:                          Interdependence
Timeline:                                           18+ years
                                                            (Adulthood)

Parents Job to Think & Say:

You can trust your inner wisdom. 

You can say your hellos and goodbyes to people, dreams, roles, and decisions.

Your love matures and expands.

You can be uniquely yourself. 

You can honor the uniqueness of others.

You can build commitments to your values, friends, family, and causes.

You can be creative, competent, productive.

You are lovable at any age.

Parents learn that love takes effort. It's not always easy. You are willing to put yourself in someone else's shoes, walk that extra mile, make sacrifices in your own life for the sake of your children. The rewards are worth the journey!

Isn't parenting grand? To shape another person's mindset is an exquisite feat when done right.
 Be Joyful. Share. Love. Laugh. Play. Inspire. Be Authentic.
 


Comments

10/23/2017 4:57am

I have gained a lot of information from this post that how to improve the child esteem. This is the only way how make your child civilized and well mannered. I have utilized this method and now finally my children are known as the best children of the community.

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